I’ve had it in my mind for some time now to pursue a personal project wherein I would take a photo a day for one year (a la the many “365” projects floating around photo sharing sites) and post with a written component. Could be a story, a memory, an essay, free association, song, poem, experience or whatever happens to be the best way for me to communicate on any given day. It may be related to the photo, loosely connected to it or have absolutely nothing at all to do with it.
The motivation for this project is the nagging voice in my head that tells me I can’t .
It tells me that I don’t have the commitment, the focus or the drive. It tells me I lack the talent and intelligence to create anything of worth to post. It tells me to be embarrassed, apologetic and ashamed of the things I think and say or the images I capture and how I capture them or the way I express myself in performance.
I want to say fuck off to the inner voice. Because I’m tired as hell.
I’ve let it rule my life for so long now. I let it make me old way back when I was eighteen. I let it commandeer my emotions and my behavior throughout my twenties and thirties.
Now as I move closer to forty each year…I’m ready to be young. I’m finally ready to be young. I want to listen to my heart and my soul. I want to tune in to the voice of the child I was with the wisdom and experience of the man I am. In order to do this I have to become stronger than the inner voice.
This blog is about me getting stronger. It is an exercise. I go to the gym 5 or 6 days a week to make my body strong and now it is time to make my spirit strong. This project, 365 days in duration, is the gauntlet I will run to prove to myself that I have value and I deserve to be satisfied in my life’s pursuits. If I only write one sentence a day and capture one image a day, I have succeeded. I am stronger.
The inner voice will never be silenced. And it shouldn’t be…after all it is a part of who I am, but it isn’t all of who I am. There is so much more that deserves a chance to be heard.
23 December 2008
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