151

"Tennis is a perfect combination of violent action taking place in an atmosphere of total tranquillity."

- Billie Jean King

150

How many people live in you?

How many people within you will repsond to a situation in different ways?

I'm curious because I sort of feel like a freak of nature.

149

“Speak softly. Those who cannot hear an angry shout may strain to hear a whisper.”

- Commander Spock (Leonard Nimoy)

148

Finally free of the old apartment and the negativity that has surrounded it for the last month.

We cleaned and I did a sage washing of the place bringing the good memories with me, thanking the space for its good energy and wishing to leave good behind for the next resident.

I am not happy with the way much has gone down surrounding this circumstance but I am confident that it has led us to the oppotunity for a better quality of life.

147

"Always have an iron in the fire. Always have another angle ready to go...this way you are never without hope."

- Charles Schulz

146

"When words are scarce they are seldom spent in vain"

- from Richard the Second by Wm. Shakespeare

145

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”

- Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

144

"Open a new window,
Open a new door,
Travel a new highway,
That's never been tried before;
Before you find you're a dull fellow,
Punching the same clock,
Walking the same tight rope
As everyone on the block.
The fellow you ought to be is three dimensional,
Soaking up life down to your toes,
Whenever they say you're slightly unconventional,
Just put your thumb up to your nose.
And show 'em how to dance to a new rhythm,
Whistle a new song,
Toast with a new vintage,
The fizz doesn't fizz too long.
There's only one way to make the bubbles stay,
Simply travel a new high way,
Dance to a new rhythm,
Whistle a new love song,
Toast with a new vintage,
Open a new window ev'ry day!"

- from "Mame", music and lyrics by the great Jerry Herman

143

the new area seems cute - full of shops with tasty treats, smooth wines and hipster bars meant to look like dives. a little attitude from some of the queens here in brooklyn but overall i will eventually learn to like it here, i think.

but i do miss manhattan - funny how you get used to and learn to love a "place" - but i'm trying to figure out whether it is really the familiarity i love and miss...i tend to see things in "all or nothing". like i live in this place now so the old place, though only 4 miles away, has vanished, which of course is ridiculous. i'll still be there 5 days a week! we still have friends there!

this is just a change and change, while painful, is often a way to get to something even better than before...

142

swollen, split, bruised and a little melancholy but now living in brooklyn!

(originally meant to post on May 22)

141

the view towards brooklyn, last night in manhattan - much to say - but tired, very tired...emotionally and physically...more thoughts to share this weekend...

140

"Sometimes you see folks who have a negative view of dreamers - people who sit around all day on their hindquarters and do absolutely nothing. These folks aren`t dreamers - they are just lazy. To me, dreaming is just part of being alive, inspired, and curious about the world."

- Dolly Parton

139

Just saw 33 Variations - wow. Absolutely loved it. I mean there were some weak spots but overall just a very impactful evening. Jane Fonda and Zach Grenier were just superb in my opinion.

Maybe because I am really emotional now anyway but I was in tears by the end - not sad really but tears coming from the feeling of no longer being alone in your fears and anxieties.

We all wish we could control time, freeze a moment. We're all terrified by the passing of time and what that takes away and what it brings.

In one section Beethoven talks to Dr. Brandt about the ups and downs he faced when losing his hearing - one day would be horrible and then the next would be better, bringing hope only to be followed by the next day which was worse than ever, for twenty five years this rollercoaster of hope and despair before he finally lost his hearing completely. It was then that he finally felt relieved - the worst had happened, he was free.

I find such great peace in that. It touches the very heart of my struggle in the last year.

Anyway I figured that I would cap this day by sharing this quote from Beethoven:

“Then let us all do what is right, strive with all our might toward the unattainable, develop as fully as we can the gifts God has given us, and never stop learning”

And really that's all I can ever expect from myself...

138

i am so fucking tired of this move and this dissaray

my eyes are burning from the stupid dust, my mind is racing from the phone calls and the lists and the things to do and things i can't remember and blah, blah, blah

i know this isn't that big of a deal in the long run but i don't fucking care

i know i am supposed to be positive in here and that this has a purpose that goes beyond my daily nit nat and struggle but i am emotionally sucked dry at the moment and i can't find it within me to honor that today

maybe tomorrow but not today

137

"Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact."

- Marlene Dietrich

136

[SIDE BAR: I rarely comment on the photo but anyway - loved this shot but hated the rotten job I did on the settings - I got the exposure all wrong. Nonetheless it it would have been a perfect addition to the set I have been working on and I still like the subject matter so I am using it here]

"May I be at peace;
May my heart remain open;
May I awaken to the light of my true nature:
May I be healed;
May I be a source of healing to all sentient beings;
May I be safe;
May I be happy;
May I be healthy;
May I be at ease"

- not sure where this if from - I have this in some notes I took when exploring different Buddhist centers in NYC - I think this is from Tonglen (a Tibetan Buddhist practice) - anyway I love it and forgot how much peace it can bring in to your mind if you really open yourself up to it

135

Hello. Just walking on broken glass.

134

and the clock keeps on ticking and ticking

no alarm and no snooze button just tick tick tick

133

"And wouldn`t it be wonderful if we could all be a little more gentle with each other, and a little more loving, have a little more empathy, and maybe - next year at this time - we`d like each other a little more..."

- Judy Garland

[this is one of his favorite Judy quotes and I know it applies quite well to the bullshit he's dealing with from some people right now]

132

Went to see the legendary Angela Lansbury in Blithe Spirit this evening (she was marvelous!).

So I share one of my favorite quotes about acting, delivered by the legend herself:

"Actors are not made, they are born."