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i'm starting to get discouraged with this project.

truth be known i am eagerly anticipating its end come december 31.

i've started a non-digital, film photography program and starting to feel more inspiration from that and discovering what i truly have in my power, what i am able and going to learn and express.

i'm finally viewing photography as a second career choice. i'm still refining what form that will take but the possibilities and opportunities are endless. i'm purposely choosing to take this path and now learning what i need to do. i'm not letting a career "happen" to me again. i'm crafting it.

but with this blog project i think i took an awful lot on myself and expected a lot from myself. this isn't easy and places where i expected support i haven't gotten which makes it an often lonely and insulating experience.

of course the main objective was to prove something to myself but i also think it was about proving something to others as well. i do believe in myself and i have proved that i believe i have worth simply be beginning school again. but i still have many, many doubts about the way others think of me.

so in that respect i still have work to do. as discouraged as i have gotten i trudge on and look for the way through this, for certainly there IS a way.

i have a little over two months left.

let me get to working.